Author Archives: Puddles

★★★★★ A wagon in a train in a tunnel under the sea!

Imagine a world where we travel in tubes. Well, that IS the world we live in. 

I was recently on my “Up Close In Your Personage” tour throughout UK, Ireland and EU. So much beauty. We were blessed with good weather. Sunshine days and favorable winds carried us from village to village. 

Now, I typically prefer a more “olde tymey” mode of transport like walking or bicycle or even the trusty iron horse. But my show dates were many and in a short period of time, therefore I hired a Splitter-style wagon. My production manager, Anthony, was very familiar with this type of vehicle, and he would drive us from place to place. I’ll review that later.

We leave London in the morning and drive for a few hours through the gorgeous English countryside. Along M20 we pass towns like Hinxhill, Smeeth, Westenhanger, Peene and Flailing Mouse. That last one I just made up. The rest of them are actual town names. The tension was building as we grew closer to our point of embarkment in Folkstone. Anthony was pedal to the metal. I was chewing my nervous gum with great purpose. Tunnels under the water make me a little anxious. We approach and pass through the check-in gate with the greatest of ease. The attendant was helpful, and he understood Anthony’s Newfoundland English jargon. He cheerfully instructed us to proceed to the Flexiplus queue. There we were, front of the queue. We saw a few shops and restaurants there. I was tempted by their advertisements. “Starbucks. Come in and enjoy your favourite coffee. Open 24 hours.” Or maybe, “Burger King. Eat from the world famous menu.” I chose to stay close to the wagon lest we encounter any unexpected travel weirdness. That’s when it would typically strike. When all is well.

As we waited, I began to feel the need to use the facilities. I looked around. Lo and behold, not more than a few meters from us is a facility. I dash across the tarmac and facilitate inside of it. I reorder myself and jet back to the wagon as we are directed onto the next level of our odyssey. My anxiety is waning.

We proceed up a long drive of which there are many. Make a right and then another right and down a driveway towards the train. There are articulated lorries (juggernauts, semi-trailers) being loaded into the train. They drive right in! We are directed to proceed to the next train car ahead. Front of the line. I get nervous again. Things are going well. Too well. I’m expecting the travel shoe to drop at anytime. A nice man with an exciting yellow High-Vis jacket motions us into a waiting train car. As we pass, he waves. No smile, just waves. That confuses me. We proceed through car after car until we are directed to stop by a smiling attendant. She smiles and holds up her hand as if to high five us. I return the gesture. Pretty cool. I never space high-fived on a train before. We settle in for our tube journey underneath the English Channel. Is that what they call it on the other end in Calais? Or does it become the French Channel?

Anthony mentions that there are facilities a few cars up. I boldly leap from the wagon to explore. The high five has eased my anxiety and caused me to forget I would soon be in a tube under the ocean. These facilities aren’t as spacious as the facilities on the tarmac. This is just one facility. A wee little water closet. But still I manage to facilitate. As I emerged from the WC, two families were standing nearby speaking french. They say “bon jour” to me. I high five them all (with my gloved left hand, of course). They respond with great enthusiasm. We become fast friends (ami). I return to the wagon. As I take my seat, Anthony tells me we’re pulling into Calais. What? I never even felt the thing move. My anxiety was all for naught, and I met new French friends on a train in a tube under the sea. I can’t wait to do to again.

Let’s YELP! 

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This is a song composed by my pal Dexter Romweber of Flat Duo Jets. Please go see him perform and buy his music. I wish I could have performed this song on AGT. But they had other plans for me.

Please get this single.

Dexter Romweber https://www.facebook.com/dexromweberduo/

Many thanks to my friends at LEWITT for the LCT 840 microphone. It’s has the goods!

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Where Is My Mind? – Pixies cover – Therapy Session

This magnificent tune is from Pixies album Surfer Rosa. What does it all mean? You tell me. I may have played fast and loose with the lyrics. Lyrics can be slippery little fishes sometimes.

Arrangement by Storm Large and The Balls.

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The Sound Of Silence – Un-DISTURBED version

You guys asked for it and here it is. I invited my pals from Tongo Hiti to help me out with this one. The Sound Of Silence is a song by the American music duo Simon & Garfunkel. The song was written by Paul Simon over a period of several months in 1963 and 1964. Disturbed did it their way. We did it the way we do it. I ❤️ y’all.
RL and Tim asked me to not cover up Sam, the drummer. This is 5 guys playing this live. No jive.

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Helena – My Chemical Romance – EMO Nite LA 🖤🖤🖤🖤

So, after my departure from a certain television show, my friend Karri Northrop invited me to cry it out with 1,000 of LA’s finest pity partiers and Echoplex at EMO Nite LA. We were sad as f@%k. Many sadgasms. I highly recommend it. #cry #sad I 🖤🖤🖤 MCR. I wasn’t trying to create a better version of this song. I was just trying to create.

 

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It’s Only Make Believe – Conway Twitty cover – Secret coffee shop style

Goodness! The coffee shop was super busy this time. I sit by the back door, so not a lot of activity there. I guess the word is gettin’ out. That’s good for Reggie’s bottom line, but I hope “The Man” doesn’t give him grief (not sure if he has a business license).
I did this Jack Nance and Conway Twitty tune for my Classic Country P³ers. I had to get it in one take, cuz it was starting to get real busy. I ❤️ country music and I ❤️ y’all.

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Under Pressure/Let It Go Smoosh-Up – Queen & Disney’s Frozen – Why Not?

A song for all times. The pressure is real. Find comfort where ya can. I can’t believe I ate the whole thing. Keepin’ it vegan. Good thing today is cardio day. I ❤️ pie & I ❤️ y’all!

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Chiquitita – ABBA cover – Barista’s choice version

My Barista pal, Reggie, asked me what other Abba tunes there are besides Dancing Queen. I said lots. He said “Oh yeah? Play me one” So here ya go. It’s good to be back in my favourite local secret coffee joint. Awesome cold brew. I ❤️ coffee and I ❤️ y’all!

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HURT – Nine Inch Nails cover – Run & Gun style

Sorry I’m late. I’ve received so may requests to do this one and I heard ya. Trent Reznor wrote it. Johnny Cash/Rick Rubin covered it. I tried to do something different with it. It’s actually 1BPM slower than Cash/Rubin. I was channeling “Wall of Sound” meets David Bowie/Liam Mckahey. Oh! I recorded all of this in GarageBand on an iPad with my trusty Lewitt DGT 650 USB mic. I also shot the video on said iPad sitting on a milk crate behind my neighborhood Piggly Wiggly store. I ❤️ art & I ❤️ y’all!

Many thanks to my friends at LEWITT for the great DGT 650 USB mic. It’s got that feeling!. http://www.lewitt-audio.com

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New Whiskey River – Hope For Agoldensummer – Are You Listening?

I love singing this song. It was written by Claire Campbell, Page Campbell and Deeds Davis. They are a band called Hope For Agoldensummer. They are my friends and make incredible art. I’m trying some new style for Tunesday. I hope it’s OK. I hope. I ❤️ y’all.

This track was engineered and produced by Martin Kearns at Down In Deep Studio.

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